Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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