dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and she was petting her beer can
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you had me at cake vodka
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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