I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
