am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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