i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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