I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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