Can Purell be used as lube?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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