oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
