Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Randomize