i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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