what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
