dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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