does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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