Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
