weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
