He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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