Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hippo gnu deer
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
