I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
