i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
