This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
