Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
