walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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