I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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