i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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