Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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