i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize