We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
