eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
