my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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