I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize