He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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