Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
