please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize