The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
