Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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