Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
