Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
