he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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