Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
