The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
