weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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