Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
