i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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