he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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