you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
