OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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