What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Terrible idea I love it
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
