I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
