I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
