Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want nice things and good sex
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got inside last night via doggy door
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
