***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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