I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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