Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
