Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize