just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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