ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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