i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize