things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
