Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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