Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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